About The Time The Winklevosses Met Armie Hammer at Tito’s Tacos
"He stole our idea!"
It’s December 2010. Armie Hammer is waiting in line at Tito’s Tacos in Los Angeles, on a brief break from production of the film, “J. Edgar.” His breakout movie, “The Social Network,” was released two months prior to critical acclaim and box office riches. The subjects of his performance, Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss, are still pursuing rowing, a few years shy of amassing a fortune in Bitcoin. Unbeknownst to both parties, their paths were about to cross for the first time.
The door to Tito’s Tacos opens. Two towering figures, their faces seemingly carved from granite, duck through the door and take off their sunglasses in perfect symmetrical motion. Armie Hammer glances at the twosome and does a double take, realizing that he’s finally about to meet the brothers he’ll be linked to forever. He wonders if anyone is looking.
Making their way over to the Tito’s Tacos line, Cameron Winklevoss spots Armie Hammer and hits his brother sideways on the chest.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Dude.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [looking up] No way.
The brothers confidently stride over to Armie Hammer, an awkward tension building as they get closer. A long second hangs before anyone says anything.
ARMIE HAMMER: [laughing a little, attempting a handshake] Hey, I’m Armie-
Tyler Winklevoss embraces Armie Hammer in a man-hug.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Bring it in, brother!
Cameron Winklevoss also embraces Armie Hammer. Forced laughter all around. Armie Hammer wonders if he should trash Mark Zuckerberg to get on the brothers’ good side, or just leave it alone. They do already seem to like him, so that’s nice.
ARMIE HAMMER: I know so much about you guys. I don’t know, I almost feel this like, weird kinship? with both of you. Finally bumping into each other has probably been a long time coming.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Yeah, well, remember: we are hard to miss. I’m 6'5, 220, and there’s two of me. Remember? The line from the movie?
ARMIE HAMMER: [forcing laughter, looking down] Yeah, true.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: We’re closer to 230 now though.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: And, in reality, we never actually said those exact words.
ARMIE HAMMER: So you guys did end up seeing it though?
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Wouldn’t you if someone made a movie about your life?
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Two tickets for the midnight showing! Had to.
ARMIE HAMMER: Oh, good. I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t know if you’d love it, hate it…I did my best with what I knew. You never know how these things will turn out.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Brother — no worries at all. Consider yourself an honorary member of the Winklevii.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: We’re trying to call ourselves that so we show people that we can laugh at ourselves. We’re sort of reclaiming it. Dad’s working on the trademark. [Turns vaguely sinister] But you probably shouldn’t call us that when you recount this conversation to anyone else.
ARMIE HAMMER: Cool. Well, thanks.
Armie Hammer turns back to the menu, posted overhead at Tito’s Tacos, wondering how much longer this interaction will last.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Hey Tyler I have to go to the bathroom.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Yeah me too. But I’ll go after.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Save our spot in line, and get me an-
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Enchilada, I know.
Cameron Winklevoss walks to the bathroom, and Tyler Winklevoss smacks Armie Hammer lightly on the back of the shoulder.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: So dude! where’s your brother? Is he in the bathroom too? We should get a picture.
ARMIE HAMMER: [confused] I actually-
Tyler Winklevoss points directly at a 65 year old Latina woman enjoying her lunch.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [Excitedly] You. Do you want to take a photo of the Winklevosses and the Hammer boys? [Turns back to Armie Hammer] This will blow up on TMZ.
Seeing the blank but earnest stare from Tyler Winklevoss as he fumbles with the camera on his phone, Armie Hammer finally realizes that this guy genuinely doesn’t know that his “brother” in “The Social Network” was just a CGI replica of his own face.
ARMIE HAMMER: [making sure Tyler Winklevoss doesn’t walk over to the woman] Dude, dude. Yeah, so this is kind of funny actually, I don’t have a twin brother.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Riiight. So they just found someone who looks *exactly* like you?
ARMIE HAMMER: No, so it was actually CGI. Pretty incredible really. There was another actor standing in, his name is Josh Pence, great guy, but they went in during post and erased his face and replaced it with mine so that it looks like we’re twins.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Why would they erase his face if it looked exactly like you?
ARMIE HAMMER: He…he didn’t. He’s someone else, a totally different actor, we just have a similar build. They put my face on his body after production wrapped.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [Losing faith fast but trying to hold on] Surrre. This is a weird lie.
ARMIE HAMMER: It’s not a lie, man. It was really CGI. Movie magic.
The woman isn’t sure whether she can go back to eating, so Armie Hammer subtly signals that they won’t be needing her assistance.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: You don’t have a brother?
ARMIE HAMMER: I do actually have a brother, but he’s a couple years younger.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [Thinks he’s finally understanding] And he was in the movie.
ARMIE HAMMER: [Losing patience] No, he had nothing to do with any of this.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [Pauses for a second] Then who was rowing with you in the Charles?
ARMIE HAMMER: [rubbing the bridge of his nose] The fill-in, Pence.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [gravely] I see.
Cameron Winklevoss returns from the bathroom, and it’s about to be the group’s turn to order.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: What I miss?
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [solemnly] He doesn’t have a twin.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: [laughing] Sure he does.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: No, he doesn’t.
Armie Hammer stares at the ground.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: I saw him. They rowed together, they-
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: HE DOESN’T HAVE A BROTHER, CAMERON! It was movie magic. I’ll explain later. Just…drop it.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: [looking at Armie Hammer, betrayed] Is this true?
ARMIE HAMMER: I figured you guys knew. I mean we’ve been really, really open about it. Talked about it on the press tour, all of that. It’s not a secret. And to be honest, I don’t know why it matters? Like, I get that it’s probably a little eerie seeing it, thinking that there’s two-
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: You think twins are eerie?
ARMIE HAMMER: I-
It’s now the group’s turn to order.
TITO: Hi what can I get you?
ARMIE HAMMER: Ah yeah. Hi. Can I please get an enchilada?
Tito nods and gets the order in.
THE WINKLEVOSSES: [in unison] WHAT?
ARMIE HAMMER: [shaking his head, exasperated] What what?
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: You’re getting an enchilada. You stole our idea.
ARMIE HAMMER: Are you joking right now? I didn’t steal your idea. I get an enchilada every time I come here.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Yeah, so you just happen to get an enchilada after you hear ME say that that’s what I’m getting.
ARMIE HAMMER: [starts lightly laughing, looking around] This is a joke. Someone is messing with me.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: There’s nothing funny about this.
ARMIE HAMMER: OK, well, I always get the enchilada.
It’s Cameron Winklevoss’s turn to order.
Tito: [to Cameron Winklevoss] Hi what can I get you?
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: [flustered, frantically scanning the menu] Ummmm can I get…
ARMIE HAMMER: Are you seriously not going to get the enchilada?
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: LET ME THINK!
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: That’s it, I’m calling dad.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: No, no, I can do this. [Scanning the menu, trying to hurry] Can I please get the… large fiesta refried bean pan?
TITO: That serves 30 people.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: [covering the phone with Mr. Winklevoss] Cameron, you hate beans.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: SHUT UP TYLER!
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Look at what you’ve done to us.
Armie Hammer takes survey of the situation and decides to exit.
ARMIE HAMMER: Guys, I have to run, I just realized that I’ve got someplace to be. [Does that weird Hollywood little hands together non-denominational prayer thing] Good to meet you, best of luck.
Armie Hammer walks out the door. The brothers stare after him for a moment, shattered after their short encounter. Tito puts the enchilada order on the counter.
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Thank you, I’ll take that.
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Cameron!
CAMERON WINKLEVOSS: Split it?
TYLER WINKLEVOSS: Yes.